Mother's Plan - Setting The Stage and Making Demands

Mother whirled in to action and before I knew it I was packed off to a local doctor.  I couldn't even see our family doctor. I was sent to see a complete stranger.  Having a child was a shameful thing for the family.  At least in my mother's eyes.

The visit was horrible. She could have at least let me see a woman doctor. But NO!  Up until then, I had never been to gynecologist, so this was a first and with a perfect stranger.  It was so horrible.  At this point I began to become afraid.  I did not know what mother was going to do next.  So, I kept my feelings and fears to myself.

The results came back positive and as soon as she found out, she stopped in the living room.  Standing up, she informed me of the results and informed me that I would be getting rid of it.  She couldn't even sit down to have adult discussion.  She dictated and scared the life out of me.  But, I did muster up the courage to say to her 'Wait a minute'.  Really, I needed to absorb what she was saying and be allowed to share my feelings.

Her response to my statement was --  Wait for what? You are going to get rid of it.  I asked 'why?'.  Her response, and I quote, " I am not going to raise it and it won't have a name.'  That is what she said.  No discussion, no thought of me and what I felt or wanted. I was so close to being 18 and here I was stuck and being frightened  in to submission by a mother that I never realized was such a monster.  What else could she be if her first response is to murder her own grandchild.

Next up was mother's husband.  Legally, my father. But, in reality it was her second husband.  Anyway, he tracked down and set up a meeting with Michael.  To this day, I do not know what happened. But, I do know it had to have been awful.  Michael ran away as fast as he could and joined the Marines earlier than he had planned. Mother's husband, most likely, was browbeat by my mother.  I believe if she had left him alone and allowed him to act on his own conscience, he and I could have sat down and had a decent discussion.   But, the monster mother would not hear of that.  She took over and ran the show and made sure I stayed in line and in fear of her.

I threatened to run and she threatened me with police action.  Yes, the police could have forced me back home, until I reached my 18th birthday.  She was determined to kill my child.