In The End

This may very well be my second to last post, for this blog.  This is the ending to the story.

Several months ago, Mother was diagnosed with advanced Alzheimer's disease.  After hearing the news I think I experienced every emotion available to man.

At first, I did my duty and called her from time to time.  My brother lives local to her and he took on the role of care giver.  I tried to give him help and advice.  Sometimes he acknowledged my help.  But, other times he chose to shoulder this alone, at the risk of his own life, marriage and job.  But, it wasn't my decision.  So, I backed off.

Fast forward to last week.  The time finally came when Mother could no longer be left alone  So, she was moved to a memory care facility.  Low and behold I have her Healthcare Power of Attorney.  I had to be involved.  My brother still doesn't share everything.  He has financial power of attorney.  My other brother is in Japan. So. . .

Up to this point had been struggling with forgiveness.  This was something I swore I would never do.  But, I had to.  Why?  My faith says so. I wrestled and wrestled with myself and God.  How could I forgive her?  How? 

Fast forward to now.  I did find a way, through prayer and God, to forgive.  I will never forget what was done to me, but in order to find peace and do for her what I pray someone will do for me, I had to forgive.

I will always believe that destroying an unborn child is cold, calculated murder.  That's the act I hate.  But, I am grateful that my own Mother, who does believe in murder as a choice, did not choose to murder me.

For now, I call her twice a day and converse with her as best she is able.  She asked me to keep secret all that she tells me.  I agreed with an exception.  If I feel she is in danger and needs immediate assistance, I will get others involved.  I live several states away and cannot travel.  So I will not be able to attend her funeral.  That's OK.  I've made peace and am doing my best to help transition to the end stages of her life.  I also believe this is my opportunity to make certain she has made peace with God.

That is all, for now.